Motherhood: beautiful chaos

photo: Angela Doran

I'm not a perfect mother, nor do I have all the answers. I rely hard on everyone around me. I have the two most amazing kids who have changed my life. I have a husband that does it all. I don't even pretend to balance this crazy world on my own.

The interesting thing is, like many women, I agonized over when to have them. What would work for my career? When was the ideal time? When would it "hurt" the least to be out of work? In a perfect world, these things should not have mattered. But they did. See, my career was (is) under my control. Having kids, was not a given. I didn't know how to bring these two worlds together. I didn't know how not to give 100% of myself to something. 

The truth is, balance is never fully achieved. When you are a mom - it means that a part of you will never be fully given to something else. And that is ok. It is ok. It is ok to change your priorities. It is ok to prioritize your life. It is ok to prioritize the little people that look up to you, need you, and depend on you to shape them into who they are going to be.

I'm not here to give parenting advice. Certainly my style is simple - I want my kids to know they are loved above all else. I want them to have fun. I want them to treat every person with respect and learn that people are what really matter in this world. 

I also believe that they need space to grow into these people. They need to fall down, make mistakes, to learn. I believe that when they see their mom working hard, chasing a dream, that the imprint it has on them is lasting. They can be anything, do anything, become anything. They can change the world.